Member-only story
My Boyfriend Thinks He’s the Sheriff of My Vagina
When Jealousy Comes with Batteries and Vibrates
You wake up one day and realize your partner has appointed himself as the lord and master of your pleasure.
Surprise! Your vibrator has vanished.
Poof! Just like that, gone.
No magic tricks involved — just good old-fashioned control.
It’s 2024, and yet here we are, dealing with people who believe they have the authority to regulate someone else’s intimacy. My boyfriend, bless his heart, decided my trusty vibrator was a threat to our relationship.
Because, obviously, a vibrating piece of plastic is more powerful than addressing unresolved issues.
The Vanishing Act
The vibrator wasn’t the problem.
The problem was him being unable to find the clitoris even if I handed him a GPS.
But in his mind, the vibrator was the villain — the competition. Why? Because it’s easier to blame a piece of plastic than admit he might need to up his game in bed.
Here’s the kicker: he gave me the vibrator as a gift.
Yep, Pandora’s box was opened, but he didn’t realize the “pleasure box” came with a user manual he refused to read.
